Serenity Prayer

I don't even know where to begin.  I have been praying along with so many family and friends for God's guidance, strength, hope in dealing with the alcoholism that controls my son's life.  Al Anon has helped me in ways that I never thought possible.  When I first went into my first meeting, I was so lost, hopeless, and desperate.  I wanted to know how to help my son.  Instead I learned how to help myself which often times does help the alcoholic.  For once in a very long time, I felt at peace, accepted, and loved.  I didn't know these people but they knew me because we are on the same journey.  I cannot express the feelings that I felt at that first meeting.  I cried a lot, shared a little through tears, but for that hour.....I didn't have to worry about saying the wrong thing or doing the wrong thing.  I know sometimes you may have to attend several meetings to find your 'home' meeting but I was lucky and found mine the first time around!  I am still new to the program but the tools that I'm learning have helped me get through some really difficult times.  And Kathy has been there for me day and night...during good times and bad.  We have laughed and cried together and I don't know how I would have gotten through these last few months without her love and support.  Yesterday, my son came into the living room and said that he was ready to go into rehab.  I cannot tell you how many prayers have been offered up for my son's sobriety.  He has gotten sober several times on his own but the sobriety only lasted from a couple of weeks to maybe a month at the most.  He just wasn't there.  Didn't want sobriety enough to do whatever it took to get and stay sober.  I took him to Bridgeway yesterday afternoon and they immediately admitted him.  He was going through detoxing so his blood pressure and heart rate were higher than they felt comfortable with.  I had prayed while we were sitting there waiting for the assessment and asked God to guide me.  If this was the path that my son was supposed to be on....then I prayed for the admission process to go smoothly.  I knew if we hit very many snags, my son would lose patience and want to go home.  I know without a doubt, that God was working everything out so that my son would get admitted and most importantly would be under a doctor's care during this difficult time.  Detoxing is not easy on a body....it takes its toll and my son has been abusing his body for a long, long, long time.  When I went to Mass Sunday and prayed for my son to have hope, peace in his life, strength and faith....I felt such a peace and now I know why.  God had this.  He always did.  It broke my heart to leave my baby in that place but it is a nice facility and the people that I met seemed to be caring and knew what they were doing.  I just hate this disease.  It is incurable.  He will be able to control it with counseling and working the program but it will always be in his life ready to pull him down.  I didn't sleep well last night.  I wrapped the blanket that he gave me for my birthday around me and prayed that the warmth and love that I felt wrapped in the blanket would somehow be shared with my son.  My 'mom' heart is broken but I know that God has this.....He always has....just in His timetable....not mine.  I don't know how this will all turn out.....I can't worry about tomorrow....only today.  And as I have heard in my meetings...progress not perfection. 

GiGi