Missing....

Yep!  I've been missing for a while now!  I spent quite a bit of time last week online searching for jobs and filling out applications.  The search for jobs is a whole different ballgame these days.  You don't just go in and fill out an application.  Everything is pretty much online and assessments.  Then you wait....and wait....and wait.  I have filled out several applications and now am waiting.  I will go next week and hit the pavement if I don't hear anything this week.  I know there are a few yet that do personal applications or at least you fill out the application there.  Will go to Hobby Lobby and also Walgreen's.  I trust that God has the perfect job for me and I just haven't found what He has in store for me yet! 

Austin and I attended the AA Winter Holiday Convention last weekend.  Oh My Gosh!  It was awesome!  I had always heard how amazing they were but had no idea HOW amazing!  The speakers were all so good and will definitely be attending more of those!  I think Austin enjoyed it.  He said that he did learn some things and he thanked Terry for inviting him and getting him the ticket.  He worked the registration desk Friday night and I know that just getting out of his room and being with other people was so good for him.  Everyone has been so good to take him under their wings and help him on this journey he is on.  I am so thankful for everyone that is in his life now.  He is now surrounded by people who love him, want only the best for him, encourage him, and are there for him. 

I spent a little time working in the front lawn this afternoon between loads of laundry and dishes and cleaning.  I keep getting piles of leaves that magically appear on the front porch and right outside of my front door!  I got those all raked and swept the front porch and sidewalk.  Discovered that there are a lot of leaves in the front flowerbed so think that may be contributing to my leaf situation.  I got those raked out of there....or at least a little more of 1/3 of them that is closest to the front porch.  Filled up a garbage bag and then had just closed it up and it started to rain so whether I was ready to quit or not.....Mother Nature decided that I was ready to quit!

Looking forward to Mom and Dad coming down Friday and celebrating Chloe's 5th birthday Saturday!  I cannot believe that she will be 5 years old already!  And they are registering her for kindergarten!  Wow! 

Ooops...I hear the clothes in the dryer wanting to be folded and put away!  Have two more loads of laundry to do today.  Funny how my clothes hamper can be totally empty one day and half full the next.  We are either the cleanest or the dirtiest people I know!

God Bless!

GiGi

Go Razorbacks!

Got home from my meeting in time to watch the last half of the Razorback basketball game!  WOW!  What an awesome game!  Went into overtime and we won it the last tenth of a second!  The fans and players went nuts!  I'm sure Dickson Street will be celebrating tonight!

Our winter temperatures are back!  It was nice to have the warmer temperatures for as long as we did but I think it only makes the cooler weather feel cooler!  Glad that Austin and I got the back yard scooped and glad that we took the time to play Frisbee!  Woke up to rain and I think it rained most of the morning.  The sun never did make an appearance so felt cold all day.  Supposed to have rain mixed with snow tomorrow morning as well.  BUT....supposed to warm up again over the weekend.  I am so ready for Spring!

Contacted the church to have our membership changed from St. Joseph's to Immaculate Heart of Mary.  The parish secretary knows Craig!  She worked at Channel 4 when he did!  Small world!  I am anxious to get involved in the parish.  I know it will help us feel like we are more a part of the parish when we become active and meet new people.  I also asked about a Bible Study.  She said that there is one after the 8 a.m. Mass so is going to have the deacon email about the details.  Since I go to 8 a.m. Mass.....that would be very convenient! 

Chloe is going to spend the night with us tomorrow night so I am so excited!  It has been a long time since she has spent the night with us.  With all of the holidays and company we have had....we just haven't had a free weekend.  I will need to run to the grocery store tomorrow morning and get some snacks.  I will pick her up from school and treat her to Starbucks. She is growing up so fast....it seems like just yesterday that she was born and now she will be 5 in just a few short weeks!  I am so blessed to be able to live so close to her and to be able to be a part of her life on a daily basis instead of once every few months. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own insight.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and He will make straight your paths.  Proverbs 3:5-6

GiGi 

I'm Baaack!

Last week was a very difficult week.  I was so hopeful that Austin was finally 'getting' it but for every two steps that he takes forward, he takes a step back almost immediately.  I know that progress not perfection is a key verse in AA and I'm trying to focus on that and be grateful instead of feeling discouraged and angry.  And I don't know if I was more disappointed and angry at MYSELF than I was at him.  Everything that I 'thought' I had learned in Al Anon just seemed to fly out of the window last week.  I just keep letting myself get my hopes up even when I know that alcoholism is a disease and every day is a struggle and there is no cure.  I know in my head about alcoholism and what I can and can't expect but in my heart.....my mom heart.....I'm struggling.  Tuesday morning was when it all came crashing down around me.....I just wanted to throw all of my Al Anon literature and my Bible across the room.  I felt like they were just empty words....empty promises....lies.  Luckily I had an Al Anon meeting that night and it put me back on track with my Higher Power and my program.  Are things better for Austin?  Yes and no.  I am just thankful that he IS attending some meetings and am prayerful that he will leave each meeting with something positive and useful that he can use to show him how to get on the path to sobriety and stay there.  This journey that God has me on is exhausting at times...a lot of times if I'm really honest.....but I trust in Him and His love for me....this is where HE wants me and I pray that I learn from this what He is trying to teach me and show me. 

We attended a Celebration of Life on Saturday for Craig's sister and brother's father-in-law....two of his siblings married siblings.  It is complicated!  We were able to visit with his mom, his sisters, Tonia and Lisa, and his brother, Eric.  We had a good visit with them and of course, there was a lot of laughter!  We didn't know their father-in-law but wanted to be there for Eric's wife, Melody, and Lisa's husband, Daniel.  We picked up PF Chang's on our way home and it was so good!  I really think I could eat there every single day!  It is THAT good! 

Sunday was another beautiful sunny and warm day.  We went to 8 a.m. Mass and then treated ourselves to a donut before doing our WalMart run.  BJ smoked ribs out on his smoker and they were so good!  I made some Texas Potatoes and Broccoli/Cheese/Bacon salad to take over with us.  I am anxious for warmer temps so that we can cook out more often and sit outside! 

I've been putting my application in at several different places.  Haven't heard back from anyone yet but am trusting that God has this and when the right job comes along, He will make it happen for me! 

"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope"   Jeremiah 29:11

GiGi

Just not feeling well.....

Yes....this is pretty much how I have felt this week.  Didn't feel well Monday and the gloomy, cold, damp weather certainly didn't help!  I felt better yesterday but had a low grade fever.  I debated on staying home last night and not attending my Al Anon meeting but it was one of those days that I NEEDED that meeting!  I know in my head that I am powerless over alcohol but the heart is a little harder to convince....I think it is the mom part of my heart.  I heard something today that said a mom is as happy as her saddest child.  So true.  I also know that I have to remember that God knows what is in my heart and I don't have to keep praying for the same thing over and over.  I just have to pray it once and then say prayers of thanksgiving for the answers to THOSE prayers.  I think if I keep praying the same thing over and over......what does that say about my faith that God hears and answers my prayers? 

I put my application in at a couple of different places here in Maumelle today.  I don't know if anything will come of it but once again.....will leave it in God's hands and He knows the path that He wants me to be on so I DO trust in my Higher Power and I know it will all work out according to His will, not thine. 

I think I will take some sinus medicine and drink some hot water.  I think this is just that little virus that everyone has had or just a sinus infection.  I am losing my voice so am thinking it may be what BJ had a couple of weeks ago.  He did end up losing his voice for several days.  He didn't feel well but didn't feel sick enough to stay in bed.  Maybe if he HAD stayed in bed, he would have gotten over it sooner! 

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change,
the courage to change the things that I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

GiGi

Church and Phase 10!

Woke up to freezing rain this morning but we were able to go to Mass at 8 a.m.  Melissa was in town so she joined Craig, Austin and me for Mass.  I miss going to Mass with her!  When we lived in Springdale, we would go to Mass and then go out for breakfast together.  Was very special.  We met BJ, Mandi and Chloe for breakfast at iHop after Mass.  Was good to have the family together for a little visit!  Missed having Ryan with us though.  He would have been our entertainment! 

Melissa was sweet enough to give Craig and Austin both haircuts when we got home from breakfast.  They both look so handsome now!  Craig's hair was really getting long so it was perfect timing that she was in town! 

After haircuts Austin, Melissa and I played Phase 10!  Of course I won!  I was running away with the game for most of the game but then Austin started catching up with me and I ended up winning by only about 20 points or so!  It was a lot of fun!  I know Austin enjoyed spending time with Melissa.  They have always had a very special bond and he misses her a lot since we moved away. 

Olive is snuggled up next to me here on the sofa and Allie is snuggled up next to the fireplace.  Their tummies are full and now it is nap time! 

Laundry is calling for me!  We are either the cleanest family in Maumelle or the dirtiest!

GiGi

Chloe Time!

We haven't seen Chloe since last weekend so was so excited to see her this afternoon!  She and BJ came over to watch the Razorback basketball game with us.  Chloe and I played and I baked us some chocolate chip cookies.  She is getting so big!  It is hard to believe that she will be 5 in a few short weeks!  She reminded me again tonight that she is having her birthday party here!  BJ said that she had also told them that last night and he didn't know if that was MY idea or hers.  I told him that she had asked me if she could have it here and I had told her yes.  I didn't want to step on any toes and have anyone thinking that I'm taking over planning Chloe's birthday party.  They can have it here or not....I don't mind either way.  She did tell me that she wanted an Elsa birthday party....big surprise there! hahaha 

Melissa is on her way from Fayetteville.  She is catching a flight out of LR tomorrow evening going to LA.  She had planned on coming early in the morning but they are predicting wintry weather after midnight throughout the morning hours.  They could miss it but they could also miss it in that it could be a lot worse than they are predicting.  I hate that she is having to drive at night but is better than traveling on icy roads in the morning!  Will be good to spend some time with her!  She is bringing Olive and we will be doggie sitting while she is in LA next week. 

Austin is doing very well.  He chose to not attend his IOP sessions.  I prayed about it last night and God pretty much reminded me of the slogan "progress not perfection".  He is making progress and I know the IOP sessions are counseling and since he will be having one on one sessions I guess it really isn't an issue.  I think he felt better today....maybe slept better. 

We will have to venture out tomorrow and get Allie some more dog food.  She has enough for in the morning and then she is out!  If she knew just how little she had in her container, she would be freaking out and pacing the floor! 

Time to snuggle up next to the fireplace!

GiGi

TGIF!!!!

It has been a busy couple of days.  Austin was discharged yesterday morning!  It is so good to have him back home.  I am so proud of him for making this choice and am praying for continued strength, hope and an awareness that he is not alone on this journey and has never been alone.  God has been right there with him and loves him as much as I do...even more!

He went to my meeting with me last night and I saw a strength and confidence in him that I haven't seen before.  So thankful for that blessing!!!  I took him to another meeting at noon in Little Rock.  I think last night was the first night that I have slept in a long time! 

It is still very cold out there but the sun is shining and the wind isn't blowing as much as it has been.  THAT makes a huge difference.  While Austin was attending his meeting I sat in the parking lot with a good book, a thermos of hot water and the sun shining in on me!  It was a good hour for me as well!

I am fixing Cajun Chicken for supper tonight.  I made it once before and Austin liked it so he requested it for supper tonight.  Should have enough leftover for supper tomorrow night as well. 

Stay warm!

GiGi